It's amazing to think of where my life is headed. This time last year (and probably the year before) I was very discouraged....not much has "gone right" in my life the past few years. I've had a weird couple years of what I could call "small, awkward occasions."
Let's recap: Tried to move into a house, everything that could go wrong, did, such as: no electricity, carpet that smelled like dog butt, broken down car, rain (for once in AZ it rained when I was actually trying to move and had to have my stuff outside.) Not to mention, I got locked outside, in my underwear. I tried to put that behind me, and be more positive so I joined a gym. Whew...that was a lot of work. First, I fell down a whole flight of stairs in front of everyone at the gym....then I got up and pretended it didn't even phase me...even though it hurt a lot. On another occasion, a strange lady smacked my bare butt in the locker room, she was mistaking me for one of her friends....awkward. A few other trials later: my debit card number was stolen and used in Canada...this list could actually go on and on...but no one would really believe the majority of things that have happened.
I said that 2009 was going to be my year. 2009 had to be the year my life turned around. Needless to say, things haven't gotten a whole lot better. Weird things keep happening, but God has been teaching and stretching and preparing me for something. In February, Jason and I got remarried. After three years of being divorced God kind of knocked our heads and we saw the light. It's been nice having someone to deal with these trials with. I have always known that I could go to God, but sometimes it's nice to have some "earthly support."
God has blessed us and has provided in ways that we could never imagine. We made some decisions the first time we were married, that we are having to resolve now. Student loans, and other loans are catching up with us, and we have made goals probably for the first time we have ever been together to handle this. It's exciting and scary.
This week I was listening to some music and a song really stuck out to me, the lyrics said "Rain down your love on me, Rain down your love..." It really seemed clear that that was what God is doing to us. It's been a strange journey spiritually. My faith has been shaken, I have doubted, I have turned my back away, I have been angry...and yet, God has still been there, showing me love, no matter how much I didn't want to see it or accept it. My life hasn't been ideal, my circumstances grim, my faith limited, my love for others non-existent, my patience thin and the whole time, God has rained His love down on me.