Sunday, November 15, 2009


I've been doing a lot of thinking recently of the day that Jonathan was born. It was a day full of emotions for so many reasons. First of all, my pregnancy was not easy. I was constantly in and out of the hospital, I couldn't keep food down, or even water! I started to go into labor at 22 weeks and at 32 weeks, I was put on bed rest. At 34 weeks, I was admitted to the hospital, and diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. Jonathan was going to have to be induced for his health, and for mine. It was not a decision I was happy to hear. The doctor waited until I was 35 weeks to induce, and early in the morning, she started the process. After 18 hours of labor, my doctor had to perform an emergency C-section because I spiked a fever, and Jonathan's heart rate had dropped severely. Again, not a choice I was entirely happy about, however, I knew that it was necessary. When he was born, his lungs were under developed, and the doctor said he was more of 34 week size baby. His Apgar was 1 and he was sent immediately to the NICU.

I don't know why I'm writing this, or why I feel I need to. Maybe I just need to vent, I don't know. Recently, I've been hearing a lot about C-sections, and how some women need to "man up" and perform their motherly duty (implying that having C-sections is the cowards way out and anything other than a natural birth makes you less than a woman.) News flash for those women who are so high on their horses: C-sections are not the easy way out!! The pain is longer and the recovery takes so much longer, so to imply that someone who has a C-section is less of a woman or a cowardly woman is ridiculous!

In no way would I ever judge a woman for how SHE chooses to bring her own child into this world. Nor would I ever make her feel like her childbirth experience was less because it wasn't what I considered perfect. How dare those women who do so. Do you not realize how belittling my childbirth experience makes me feel?

I understand most of these comments are aimed towards women who choose to have a C-section over a natural birth even if it's not medically necessary, and if that's the case, then who cares?? Why should it matter how a woman decides to have her child. Childbirth is a very intense, emotional and physical experience, no matter which method a woman chooses. How do you know what another woman is going through? You don't! So there is no reason to judge and make others feel inadequate.

As women, and as mothers we should be encouraging to each other. We are a community of people who experience this wonderful gift of childbirth. No one can take that away from us. It is an experience that changes the course of our lives...let's support that community instead of tearing down the ones who are members within it.

I am not less of a woman, or less of a mother because I had a C-section. And for you to even suggest that shows how much less of a woman you are.


scrappysue said...

i had a c-section for my first child - sometimes it's just necessary, but like breasfeeding, it's an age old debate that won't die!

thanks for stopping by!

egt said...

very true...I guess I had just hit my limit without saying something. I usually don't bark at people..but it's just been one of those days!

Project Survive said...

Oh man, I totally know woman like that. Sorry!! =( Holy cow, I don't think I could even handle a c-section!!

I was unable to breast feed my first born because of some medicine i had to be put on -- and I got SO much crap. Especially from some of my closest friends. It was ridiculous.

What is wrong with people like that?

Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

The Mommyologist said...

I couldn't agree with you more. Every woman's experience is different...and for many different reasons, and we should all support each other. Shame on anyone who doesn't!

angelina la dawn said...

my little sis was born c-section, and my older sis couldn't breast feed. how would anyone ever know if you didn't tell them? proof it doesn't matter

Beth's Blog said...

I had four "natural" births, 2 with meds, 2 without......(without because there wasn't enough TIME for the epidural) .......hands down, I would do that again. c-sections look rough to heart goes out to every girl who has had one. I think it is a personal choice and that of the doctor. Like breast feeding, women should be supportive of each other NOT against.

This is cheesy but you never know what it's like till your in their shoes!